Feeling Like you Don’t Belong

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Feeling like you don’t belong is a way of life for some of us.

There are many names for it and many feelings that go along with feeling like you don’t belong.

  • Outcast
  • Impostor (Impostor Syndrome)
  • Phony
  • Fraud
  • Loner
  • Misfit
  • Disconnected
  • Social Anxiety

At the heart of all these labels and issues is feeling like you don’t belong.

But how can this even happen?

How can someone who clearly belongs to the human race end up feeling like s/he does NOT?

One answer: childhood emotional neglect.

When you’re raised by emotionally neglectful parents (who were raised by emotionally neglectful parents – don’t forget):

  • Feelings are never validated.
  • Thoughts are not taken seriously.
  • Actions are not met with understanding.
  • No one is curious about who you are.
  • Nobody takes the time to understand you.

Under the above circumstances, you end up feeling like you don’t belong because…

We’re social beings. Belong is a purely social issue. As you come to consciousness as a person, your only credible source of information about to whom and where you belong comes from your family .

If your family treats you like you don’t matter, how on earth could you ever feel like you belong. How can you feel legitimate?

Through these formative experiences, you will come to believe that you’re an outcast, that you do not fit in. Then, you will take those beliefs into adulthood, already seeing the world through that lens.

Self-fulfilling prophecy. These formative experiences are powerful and must be addressed if you want to feel like you belong.

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